Archive for the ‘Japanese Crap’ Category

Barack-in-roll: Obama sushi


Obama SushiThere’s something fishy in Washington, and no, it’s not the watered-down stimulus bill.  From the same island nation that brought you Super Mario, Power Rangers and animated pornography, I present to you Obama sushi!

The problem with Obama sushi, like the stimulus package, is that after half-an-hour, you already want more.

Unfortunately, I do not speak Japanese, but thanks to the wonders of the internets (which is, from what I understand, a series of tubes), I have obtained this translation:

“It is done. Please eat this.” As too nice to eat, and even extreme masterpiece “rolled sushi ornament” What a surprise! “But design is also important, as important as taste. After all is food. I’m finished I get to eat tasty”

Truer words have never been spoken.  Thanks to Jaime G, who has been killing it with the links.


Super Obama World


Super Obama WorldYou blow into the cartridge.  It doesn’t work.  You blow a little harder this time.  Still nothing.  Finally, you call your older brother to help you.  He blows in the cartridge just right.  You turn the game on and hear that trademark “ding”.  You know you are in for some oldschool videogame fun.

Tragically, most of our moms have since discarded our precious vintage video game systems.  But have no fear, for Zensoft brings us Super Obama World, a Marioesque game without the hassle of antique electronics.

But alas, in the age of the 24 hour news cycle, the game is now woefully outdated.  The main nemeses are pigs wearing lipstick, a passé reference to a certain lipstick wearing hockey mom who has since faded into irrelevance.

But fear not, new levels are coming soon.  Maybe a level where Obama forces the stimulus bill down the throat of Mitch McConnell?  That’d be fun.

Domo arigato Mr. Obama

Domo arigato

Domo arigato

This one has been widely reported, so I had my choice of sources. Today, I decided to go international.

Chinese state news agency Xinhua reports that an enterprising Japanese publishing house has released an “English-learning textbook” titled “The Speeches of Barack Obama”.

Spokesperson for Asahi Press Yuzo Yamamoto explains that the speeches of President Obama are an ideal medium for learning English because they “are so moving, and he also uses words such as ‘yes, we can,’ ‘change’ and ‘hope’ that even Japanese people can memorize”.

Simple phrases even Japanese people can memorize? Wow, talk about the soft bigotry of low expectations. We’re talking about the same people that created this masterpiece, not to mention this touching tribute to our 44th president.

As a side note, Asahi Press is planning to release “Learn English with Mike Tyson” later this year.

The Yes-We-Can Action Man

Fully posable Obama action man

Fully posable Obama action man

This one comes from the interwebz, specifically from Gizmodo, the gadget blog.

The action figure comes with katanas, 9mm gun, assault rifle, and a lightsaber included!

During the campaign, Obama constantly advocated peace through strength.  Now we know that by strength, he meant the ability to obliterate any adversary who doesn’t know what time it is.  Booya!

The figure is fully posable.  Even the hands and fingers.  The possibilities are endless.  Barack could give the finger to French President Nicolas Sarkozy, or maybe just use his hand to tap Joe Biden on the shoulder after an inappropriate joke.

All I can say is, inappropriate as it may be, I WANT IT I WANT IT I WANT IT!

Hat tip to Scott for the link.