Posts Tagged ‘ron paul’

Who are you voting for under there?

01/31/2009

ObunderwearLadies and gentlemen, America is a nation divided.

There is a large and vocal contingent of the population that adamantly prefers the freedom and comfort provided by boxer shorts.  They point to Ben Franklin who said “those who would sacrifice freedom for security deserve neither.”

On the other hand, many others demand the snugness and security provided by briefs.  They retort that with boxers, you’re flopping all over the place.

Both sides of the argument are dug in, and there seems little possibility of compromise.

Enter Obama Boxer-Briefs.  True to the nation’s current spirit of consensus, designer Andrew Christian has released boxer-briefs featuring the president’s likeness on the front, and the number “08” on the back.  At just $29, you’d be stupid not to buy them.  Wow!

Caveat emptor; You go out drinking with your friends.  You meet a pretty girl wearing a Ron Paul ’08 shirt.  In a pathetic effort to impress her, you tell her “yeah baby, I’m totally into Ron Paul.”  You take her home, forgetting that you’re wearing your Obama boxer-briefs.  One thing leads to another… but oh no!

“What’s this, Obama underwear?  You lied to me?  You lied.”  She’s livid.  “I’m sorry,” she says, “I have to go.  I can’t have a one-night stand with some guy I met in a bar if he’s the type of guy that lies!”

“But baby,” you say, “I’m wearing them ironically.”  But it’s too late.  She’s already gone home to her Obama pleasure toy.  You crack open a bottle of Senator Beer and cry yourself to sleep.